In Nigeria, we take friendships seriously. From childhood games of suwe and boju-boju to deep conversations about life, our friends become our family. So when a childhood friend starts ignoring you, it feels like a personal attack. But before jumping to conclusions, there are things you can do to handle the situation wisely.
1. Observe and Reflect: Did Something Change?
Before assuming your friend is being wicked or acting funny, take a moment to observe what’s happening. Ask yourself:
- Has their behavior changed towards just you or everyone?
- Are they going through a rough time (family issues, school, work stress)?
- Did you have an argument or disagreement that wasn’t resolved?
Sometimes, people withdraw because of personal struggles, and it has nothing to do with you. Instead of taking it personally, try to see things from their perspective.
2. Reach Out, But Don’t Beg
There’s nothing wrong with checking up on your friend. A simple “Hey, I noticed you’ve been distant, hope you’re okay?” can go a long way. However, avoid sending multiple messages if they don’t respond.
Tip: Don’t go and be sending “Hello” every morning like a WhatsApp broadcast. One message is enough.
If they still ignore you, give them space. Desperation won’t fix anything.
3. Recall Past Incidents: Did You Offend Them?
Nigerians don’t always express when they’re offended. Sometimes, we say “No wahala” when there’s plenty wahala in our hearts. Try to recall if you said or did something that may have hurt them.
If you suspect something, you can ask directly: “Did I do something wrong? If I did, I’d really like to know so I can make things right.”
4. Give Them Time, But Set a Limit
Space is important in any relationship. Your friend may need time to figure out their feelings. However, don’t wait forever.
Give it a few weeks or months. If they still act like you don’t exist, then it’s time to face reality.
5. Focus on Yourself: Build New Connections
Sometimes, friendships naturally fade, and that’s okay. Instead of dwelling on the pain, focus on:
- Meeting new people
- Developing your skills
- Spending time with family
- Engaging in hobbies you enjoy
Your happiness should never depend on one person.
6. Accept That Some Friendships End
Not every friendship is meant to last forever. Life changes people, and sometimes, we outgrow certain relationships. If your friend has chosen to walk away, let them go with grace.
“People enter your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”
Maybe they were meant to be in your life only for a season, and that season has ended.
7. Don’t Let It Affect Your Self-Worth
Being ignored by someone you care about can hurt, but don’t let it make you feel unworthy. Their decision to ignore you is about them, not you.
Surround yourself with people who appreciate your presence. Real friends don’t disappear without explanation.
Conclusion
Losing a childhood friend is painful, but sometimes, it’s a blessing in disguise. Friendships should bring joy, not unnecessary stress. If your friend is ignoring you, do your part to reach out, but if they don’t respond, move on with dignity.
Remember: You deserve friendships that are mutual, respectful, and fulfilling. Don’t waste time chasing people who don’t value you.
If you found this helpful, share your thoughts in the comments. Have you ever been ignored by a close friend? How did you handle it?