Suddenly, you realize that making new friends as an adult is not as easy as it was in school or during NYSC. Everyone seems busy, preoccupied with their careers, relationships, and personal lives. If you’re struggling to build a social life after NYSC, don’t worry. This guide will walk you through practical ways to make new friends, grow your network, and build meaningful relationships in Nigeria.
Why Making Friends After NYSC Feels Hard
Many ex-corpers struggle with loneliness after NYSC. Here’s why:
1. People Move Away: NYSC brings people from different states together, but after service, most return to their hometowns or move for job opportunities.
2. Busy Schedules: As an adult, work, family responsibilities, and financial pressures make it harder to prioritize socializing.
3. Fear of Rejection: Many people feel awkward about initiating conversations, worried that others won’t be interested in forming new friendships.
4. Lack of Social Events: Unlike NYSC, where activities forced you to interact with others, post-service life may not provide many natural opportunities to meet new people.
How to Make Friends after NYSC
Despite these challenges, making new friends after NYSC is possible. You just have to be intentional about it.
1. Leverage Your NYSC Network
Your NYSC friends don’t have to disappear from your life. Here’s how to maintain and expand those connections:
- Stay in Touch: Don’t let distance separate you. Chat with your NYSC friends on WhatsApp, call them occasionally, and engage with their social media posts.
- Reconnect: If you’re relocating to a new city, ask if any of your NYSC friends live there. They can introduce you to their own circles.
- Attend NYSC Reunions: Many ex-corpers organize meetups or hangouts. Attend these events to rekindle old friendships and meet new people.
2. Be Open to Workplace Friendships
If you’ve started working, your colleagues can be potential friends. But office relationships can be tricky, so approach them wisely:
- Start with Small Talk: Ask about their weekend, interests, or hobbies. A simple “How was your weekend?” can open doors.
- Join Workplace Activities: If your office has team bonding events, office hangouts, or sports clubs, participate.
- Don’t Force It: If a colleague doesn’t seem interested in friendship, respect their space and move on.
3. Join a Professional Network
Networking isn’t just for career growth—it’s also a great way to meet new people. Consider joining:
- LinkedIn Groups: Engage in industry discussions and connect with professionals in your field.
- Business and Tech Meetups: Platforms like Meetup.com, Eventbrite, or even Twitter (X) often list networking events in Nigerian cities.
- Toastmasters Club: If you enjoy public speaking and leadership, Toastmasters clubs in Nigeria provide a friendly community.
4. Attend Religious and Community Events
In Nigeria, religious centers (churches and mosques) and community gatherings are excellent places to meet like-minded people.
- Join a Church or Mosque Group: Choir, ushering, drama, or welfare groups create opportunities for bonding.
- Volunteer for Community Projects: Many churches and mosques organize charity outreaches—these events are great for meeting warm-hearted individuals.
5. Take Advantage of Social Media
Social media is a goldmine for friendships if used correctly. Here’s how to build friendships online:
- Join Facebook Groups: There are groups for almost every interest—fitness, parenting, travel, and even NYSC alumni groups.
- Engage on Twitter (X): Follow conversations that interest you and reply to tweets in a thoughtful way.
- Use Instagram and TikTok: Comment on posts, engage with people’s stories, and DM someone when you find common ground.
- Try Friendship Apps: Apps like Bumble BFF, Meetup, and Slowly connect people based on interests.
6. Enroll in a Class or Skill Acquisition Program
If you’re still unemployed or want to develop a skill, enrolling in a program will expose you to new people.
- Tech Bootcamps: If you’re interested in coding, UI/UX design, or digital marketing, tech bootcamps help you meet professionals with similar goals.
- Fashion, Baking, or Photography Classes: These skill-based classes encourage interaction, collaboration, and friendship-building.
- Language Classes: Learning French, Chinese, or Yoruba can introduce you to new social circles.
7. Get a Gym Membership or Join a Sports Club
Fitness centers and sports clubs are fantastic places to bond with people. Consider:
- Joining a Gym: Say hi to people on the treadmill, take group fitness classes, and engage with gym instructors.
- Playing Football, Basketball, or Tennis: If you enjoy sports, find a local club or recreational team.
- Hiking or Cycling Clubs: Many Nigerian cities have weekend hiking and cycling groups.
8. Become a Volunteer
Volunteering allows you to make an impact while forming friendships. Some places to volunteer include:
- NGOs like Red Cross, Sickle Cell Foundation, or Teach for Nigeria
- Political Campaigns and Community Development Programs
- Children’s Homes and Orphanages
When you work toward a shared cause, friendships form naturally.
9. Attend Weddings and Social Gatherings
In Nigeria, weddings, birthdays, and other celebrations are prime networking events.
- Be Open to Conversations: Greet the person sitting next to you at a wedding or party—you never know where it might lead.
- Attend Family Events: Cousins can introduce you to their friends, expanding your network.
10. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
Making friends requires effort. If you only stay at home, no new friendships will magically appear.
- Say Yes More Often: If someone invites you to a get-together, go!
- Be Approachable: Smile, maintain good body language, and be open to conversations.
- Don’t Overthink It: Making friends isn’t as complicated as it seems. Sometimes, a simple "Hi" is all it takes.
Conclusion
Making friends after NYSC requires intentional effort, but it’s absolutely possible. Start by reconnecting with old NYSC pals, engaging with workplace colleagues, and joining communities that match your interests. Whether through social media, professional groups, volunteering, or simply stepping out more often, opportunities to meet new people are everywhere.
Be patient, stay open-minded, and remember that true friendships take time to grow. If you’re proactive, you’ll soon build a strong social circle that supports you through life’s journey.
Now, go out there and start making friends!